HetaliaStuck!
by Radyo-Ukay
Summary: Homestuck x Hetalia crossover. Written for my friend Sydney. / John finds a man in his backyard claiming to be the United States of America, John is more than confused. Lucky him, he isn't the only one getting visits from self-proclaimed countries.
1. Chapter 1

_HetaliaStuck! is brought to you by a Tumblr with nothing better to do with her life._

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><p>-ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 17:08-<p>

EB: hey uh rose  
>EB: would you believe me<br>EB: if i said that there was a man  
>EB: in my room<br>EB: claiming to be the united states of america?  
>TT: No, probably not.<br>EB: ah. figured.

-ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 17:11-

John spun in his chair to face the back of the man sitting on his floor. The blond had appeared out of nowhere in John s backyard and had asked him where the nearest McDonald s was. John, being the nice kid he was, gave him directions and thought as the man ventured towards the fast food joint, that it would have been the last he saw of him. But not even an hour later, the man was back on John s doorstep, handing him a kids meal. Now he was sitting in John s room filing through his collection of action movies. There was a pile on either side of the man. John guessed that one side was movies he had seen and movies he had not seen. He noticed Con Air on the top of one of the piles and smiled to himself. Hopefully this guy had good movie taste.

"Man you really like Nic Cage, don t ya kid?" The blond laughed, pointing at the pile that Con Air sat atop at.

"Yeah. He's awesome. The best." He leans his hand against his chin and then tilts his head. "Don't you like him?"

The blond just shrugs and leans back on his hands. More of a Glen Campbell and Lee Reynolds kind of guy. John couldn t help but stick his tongue out at the man. It wasn t like he didn t like them, but he had a strong love for Nic Cage and wouldn t let it change for the world.

What he didn t expect was getting a pillow to the face. His face was blank as he stared at the pillow on the floor and the man laughing. _This guy was sure strange._ John thought. But he didn t seem all that bad. Smirking, John leans down, grabs the pillow and tosses it back at the man who fell back with an thud.

The two stare each other down in silence. A couple minutes went by the blond's eye twitches. He then made and face causing John to laugh. The two then both made faces at each other, laughing uncontrollably.

"You're not that bad for a kid." The blond said as he stands and cracks his back. "Name's Alfred by the way."

John smiles. "I'm John. John Egbert. So are we like, bros now?"

Alfred grins. "Yeah why the hell not!"

"By the way," John leans back and looks up at the man. "How did... you even get here?"

"Uh..." Alfred pauses and sticks his hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket. "That's what I would like to know."


	2. Chapter 2

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:30-

CG: HEY FUCKFACE  
>CG: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?<br>CG: HELLO  
>CG: IM TRYING TO FUCKING TROLL YOU RIGHT NOW<br>CG: UGH FINE  
>CG: FUCK YOU<br>CG: I WILL COME BACK

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:51

Frowning, Karkat Vantas moved away from his computer station and walked towards Terezi. She sat on the floor with one of her scalemates on her lap, talking about some criminal and the justice she was going to bring upon them. He crossed his arms and sat next to her. She smiled when she felt him sit next to her and poked his arm. "Hey there Karkat! I thought you were trolling that human kid you;re so obsessed with."

"I'm not fucking obsessed with the John human!" Karkat growled. "And he's not even at his fucking computer!"

Terezi put her arm around his neck and chuckled. "Hey hey now no need to get so upset! You have me around still."

"Fuck you Terezi." He swatted her hand away and stood up. "I'm going out to get air, you re in charge.

She saluted him and grinned. "Aye aye Kar Captain!" She then formed a little heart with her fingers. Karkat felt his face flush as he made one as well. Then realized how STUPID he looked making a hand heart to a blind girl.

"I made you a fucking heart back." He mumbled. She just grinned and nodded.

Karkat walked over to the transportalizer and used it to transportalize himself to the roof of his hive. He went over towards the ledge and laid down on his back, staring up at the Alternian sky. Whenever he was angry (which was a lot) he would come out and just stare aimlessly. It calmed him down somewhat and the air did him good. As he started to doze off he noticed something in the sky sparkle. He squinted his eyes and sat up, staring at this face moving twinkle that seemed to grow closer.

This thing was heading straight towards Karkat. He ducked out of the way as it came closer and crashed at the top of his hive. "WHAT THE FUCK?" The smoke had not cleared yet but he headed towards the area. He then noticed something shaped like a curled up body. He wasn t sure til he got closer and noticed a human laying there rubbing his head.

_A human?_

"Ow what the fuck happened." The human sat up and rubbed his cheek. He had an accent, that was clear enough, nothing like the other humans though. The guy fixed a curl in his hair that seemed to just float by itself. That was strange too. Humans were just so fucking strange. The human then realized that there was someone else there near him. He turned and he and Karkat exchanged confused glances.

Then they screamed.


End file.
